Daddy Loves You
by Mac-alicious
Summary: And what he really means is left unspoken. AU, written post-Journey, pre-Season 2. Puck & his thoughts on Beth in Season 1 and in the future. Quick undertones, otherwise not shippy. Oneshot.


**A/N: **Well, this is my latest Glee one shot. It's centered around Puck and his connection to Beth. I wrote it sometime right after "Journey", so it follows a few Puck/Quinn/Beth threads from the actual show. Mostly this is what Puck could have been thinking then and in the future in regards to the daughter he and Quinn gave up. I don't make any claims to how realistic any of the plot points in this are for any of the characters. I'm thinking Puck is definitely on the OOC side through this, but I liked writing it. I'm totally on the fence on how I feel about the quality, but I think I like it more than I hate it. It's separated into five parts, each one moving forward in time bit by bit, and then to about ten years after season one (making Beth around 10 turning 11 and the Glee Clubbers around 26-27). Anyway, Enjoy! R&R! Thanks! –Mac

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Glee. 

**Daddy Loves You**

-1-

Quinn comes to live with Puck not long after Finn finds out the truth. Finn still isn't speaking to either of them, but he wasn't the one to kick her out. She tells Puck one night that Mrs. Hudson told her she could stay but she left because it broke her heart every time she looked at Finn when he was purposefully avoiding looking at her. Puck offers up his bed because she has nowhere else to go. His mother isn't pleased and he catches her shaking her head disapprovingly at him more than twice a day on a regular basis once Quinn moves in. But it's _the right thing to do_ so no one complains that there's a blonde haired, sad eyed, pregnant, teenage girl getting comfortable in the Puckerman household.

Quinn is still against any kind of relationship with him, but Puck hasn't given up on being there for her. So one night, when he passes by his room, after putting his sister to bed, and Quinn is curled up on his bed crying, he can't find it in himself to walk away and leave her alone. It's uncharacteristic of him and if it were any other girl, he would be hightailing it in the other direction. However, it's not any other girl. It's Quinn—the girl who stole a piece of his heart right from under his nose. And moreover, she is the mother of his child. That means something significant even though he can't always fully understand why.

Puck slowly pushes the door open all the way. He lingers in the doorway for a moment, watching her. She hasn't noticed his presence, and he is almost afraid to disturb her in that moment of vulnerability. Quinn has always strived to look and be perfect twenty-four hours a day. She has an image of what beauty is and it involves being perfectly composed from head to toe, not a hair or thread out of place. But Puck thinks he's never seen her look more beautiful in this moment—with her hair hanging in shambles, her face streaked with tears, and her rounding belly just visible under the shirt she slept in. When she falls apart it proves she is human, not just the driven, eye-on-the-prize, narcissistic puppet Coach Sylvester trained her to be. He isn't sure if Finn has even been privy to this side of her—where her emotions ran so deep they threatened to drown her. That makes Puck feel just a small bit special, even if Quinn couldn't bring herself to really be with him.

He finally steps into the room and his movement draws her gaze up to him. Her eyes are screaming for him to leave, but she doesn't say a word as he crawls onto the bed beside her. And she doesn't push him away when he pulls her into his arms. She goes limp, letting her head fall to rest on his chest, tucked under his chin as he holds her even closer. She shakes with a fresh bout of tears. Puck doesn't know what to say to calm her down He's even more afraid to say the wrong thing. He's prone to upsetting her more than she already is even when he is trying to make her feel better. He never knows the right thing to say, so this time he makes the safe decision to stay silent. He lets the fingers of one of his hands run through her hair, but does nothing else.

"Stay with me?" She whispers, surprising him as her breath falls in light puffs on the skin of his neck.

"Okay," he whispers back, not trusting himself to say anything more.

Quinn snuggles closer to him. Tears are still falling silently down her cheeks and they drop and pool on the fabric of his shirt. He thinks it should bother him—he's never done well with emotional girls—but it feels so good to have her back in his arms that he doesn't care.

"Just don't leave," She murmurs as she settles. "Everyone else has left me."

Even as she presses closer to him, asks him to stay beside her, it hurts him because he knows that Finn must be included in that 'everyone else' and he doesn't want his ex-best-friend on her mind _ever_. Jealous is an emotion that is new to him, but he's felt envy's powerful grip more and more often recently. He kind of feels terrible for being proud about being the father of Quinn's baby simply for it being something that he has that Finn doesn't—but he's never said he wasn't a terrible person, in fact, he perpetuates a reputation of being just that.

He becomes distracted by her breathing evening out and the trembling in her shoulders stopped. Puck pulls away slightly to look down at her. Her eyes have closed and she is now sleeping soundly. Untangling his fingers from her hair, he reaches to gently wipe away the few tears that lingered on her skin. Keeping her cradled against his chest, he shifts to lay down on the bed with her still wrapped up with him. His mother isn't likely to approve of them sleeping in the same bed under the current circumstances—even though he's assured her that there's no way for him to get Quinn pregnant a second time—but Quinn asked him to stay and he hasn't been able to deny her anything for a long time.

While Quinn sleeps, he lets one hand rest on her swelling stomach and thinks about the life that is growing somewhere under his fingers. Quinn's already decided that she's giving up the baby and he has no choice but to respect her decision, but a part of him feels uncertain. He isn't sure he'll be able to let go of his child as easily. He knows the choice was difficult for Quinn to make, he knows it hurts her, but he can't help but feel that it's hurting him more because he hasn't come to terms with the reality of it. Or because maybe he wants something else, a different outcome, but he doesn't know exactly what.

Leaving Quinn resting on her pillow, he unwraps himself from around her. She rolls a little away from him, clutching at the blankets when she loses contact with his skin. He moves down to bring himself level with her belly. His feels the urge to have a talk with his baby girl for a long time—he read somewhere that it's good for the baby to hear the soothing voices of its parents—or something like that—but Quinn has been so set on detaching herself from anything involving the baby that isn't necessary for the baby's health that she would never allow him to act on it. So, he takes advantage of this moment to have a few minutes alone with his daughter.

"Hello there," Puck whispers softly so he doesn't wake up Quinn. "I don't really know how to do this. Never really had a conversation with anyone who wasn't born yet. Even when my mom was pregnant with my sister I didn't do this, I was kind of scared of her belly. I didn't understand that there wasn't actually a miniaturized human living in there. I pictured a little midget or dwarf guy chilling out on a La Z Boy, watching the game on an old TV set. My mom made me feel the baby kick once and I thought it was really the guy getting angry at a bad call and kicking over the TV like my Dad did once. I was terrified. I half expected the baby to come out with a beard and a penchant for mining precious gems, wailing 'Hi Ho' at the top of its lungs."

Puck chuckles to himself before he continues, "But I know that's not how the whole baby thing works now…_obviously_. I just wanted to say that your Daddy loves you _and_ your Mommy. And even though your mommy wants to give you away that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. In fact, it means she loves you more than anything in the world because she only wants to make sure you have the best life. And even though we want to, we know we can't be the ones to give it to you. You're going to have a good family, and a good home and you're gonna be loved by someone as much as we love you. Sometimes I wish it were different, that I could keep you mine forever…but I can't. Even though I haven't met you yet, I love you more than I thought possible. I wanted you to know that, so you won't be confused or feel alone. I'll always be out there and you'll always be in my heart even though I can't be with you. I guess that's it. I gotta wrap this up before your mommy wakes up. Goodnight."

Puck moves back up to the head of the bed to lie next to Quinn. He wraps his arms around her again and she settles back against him as she shifts in her sleep. He breathes in a deep breath and closes his eyes. A heaviness that had once been draped over his heart has lifted and been replaced by a calm contentment. He presses a light kiss to Quinn's hair before letting sleep seep in over him. He dreams of the happy future their baby is sure to have, and it almost doesn't hurt as much when he doesn't picture himself and Quinn's sharing it with her.

Quinn doesn't tell him until years later that she had been awake the entire time and heard every word.

-2-

Puck sings to Quinn from his heart. Even though the other guys are singing with him and the entire Glee club and Mr. Schue have their eyes on him, he feels like it's only him and Quinn in the room. He knows Jackie Daniels isn't an appropriate name choice for the baby—through he it is a kickass name and light-years better than Drizzle—especially a baby they are giving away. If a name is all they can give her, then it should be special. That's why he chose this song for Quinn, and their daughter, _Beth_. It means something even if their baby girl never understands that—he'll always remember the significance it held. The family that adopts her might change her name, so she might never know how special her name was to him, she may not know him, or anything about what happened before she was born, but he will know. And he wants to remember that he loved her enough to give her a name—because if they can't keep her then she at least deserves to have a name.

-3-

Quinn goes into labor almost immediately after leaving the stage from their Regionals performance. There is a static electricity in the air of excitement that swiftly changes to terror. He doesn't know what to do when her water breaks, so he freezes, paralyzed from head to toe. Mr. Schue has to come get him to rush him after the rest of the club. When he comes up beside Quinn, she grabs his hand in a tight grip as a contraction hits her. A scream rips itself out of her throat. He takes a deep breath and promises himself he'll be strong for Quinn and the baby girl on the way into the world.

It doesn't take long for his strength to falter.

Once they are at the hospital, once they are in the delivery room, the part of Puck that is still a scared shitless little boy resurfaces. He feels confused and helpless and just a little bit queasy. Truthfully, _a lot_ queasy. His head spins as he stands off to the side of the hospital bed—he's not sure if it's from being afraid or from finding it disgusting that Quinn is about to push a baby out of her.._that_, but it really doesn't matter because the fact of the matter is that he still feels like he's going to pass out if he doesn't get a hold of himself. It would be a totally uncool thing for him to faint and it would completely ruin his reputation if it ever got out. He pulls himself together, enough to remain conscious but still stands on wobbly legs.

Quinn tells him he sucks for doing this to her—she screams it at him repeatedly until it is a looped mantra in his head—and she's kinda right that it's his fault that they have to go through this. He maybe hates himself a little for it, but he loves Quinn all the more for struggling through this for Beth.

Then, finally, Beth is there cradled in the doctors hands and wailing her tiny lungs out. He thinks affectionately that she's going to have pipes just like her mother. Musical talent is in her genes, just like good looks and a haughty attitude. He hopes the family that takes her will be able to recognize that and help her to achieve all her dreams—because he's learned that music can bring a person's soul to life. It sucks that there's not anyone he truly believes can be the parent he wants and wishes he could be.

It sucks that it's just not possible for him to be the one to raise her. He can't do it without Quinn, and she only wants life to go back to normal. He doesn't want to know what's going to happen when Quinn finally realizes that life will never be normal again. It just can't be, not after this. He knows nothing is ever going to be the same now that they've welcomed the beautiful baby Beth that looks so much like Quinn into the world.

Puck finally tells Quinn how he feels about her as they look down at Beth through the windows lining the walls of the nursery. He has to stop himself from telling her how he feels about giving Beth up. His silence is not the answer Quinn wants to hear. She wants him to tell her that he wants to give Beth up because it's the right thing to do. She wants him to tell her that _she's_ right for doing this. But he can't find the words, and it's probably best that he stop lying to Quinn—and _himself._

When the coach from Vocal Adrenaline shows up—Rachel's mother, he corrects himself—he's confused. She seems nice enough and the fact that she compliments his choice in name almost relieves the sting of Quinn saying she doesn't have a name. A part of him knows why she's there, but he's not ready to accept it so he doesn't say a word about it. Quinn makes small talk with the woman for a few minutes. Eventually Quinn walks back to her hospital room and Shelby disappears as suddenly as she came. Puck opts to stay outside the nursery for a few more minutes. He stares down at Beth and wonders what she'll be like when she's older, if he'll ever get to know what she grows up to be.

A nurse wanders down the row of babies and notices him watching Beth. She smiles and points at the bassinet holding Beth. He nods once and the nurse reaches down to take his daughter into her arms. She begins to walk with Beth to the entrance to the nursery and he meets them there. He looks down at his beautiful baby—and he really needs to stop thinking of her as _his._

"Do you want to hold her?" the nurse asks.

He almost takes a step back in surprise. Quinn hadn't wanted to hold Beth, because that connection might have been too hard to walk away from. He hesitates because he's not sure if he'll be able to walk away after holding her in his arms. Right now, she is almost like an image from a dream. To hold her would be to make her undeniably real. For a long moment, he just stands in front of the nurse, slack jawed, and then he makes a decision.

"Yeah," Puck answers. "I'd like that.

The nurse leads him over to a rocking chair and he sits down. The nurse places Beth in his arms and the world around him stops. This is quite possibly the last moment he will spend with his daughter, and he wants to make the most of it. He barely notices when the nurse wanders away. He is fascinated by Beth's now open eyes and he holds her gaze while he slowly rocks the chair back and forth.

"Can I tell you something?" Puck whispers down to Beth. This time is different than when he spoke to her in Quinn's belly. It feels more important now that she's actually there. "Something I haven't told anyone else? I want to keep you. I don't know why that's been so hard to say. I. Want. To. Keep. You. I want to be in your life. I want to watch you grow up. I want to prove that I can be a great dad.

"But the thing is, I'm _Puck_. I smash guys' heads in on the football field. I kick ass on guitar, I trash can nerds on a daily basis, and I never met a Cougar I couldn't tame. I shouldn't want to be a father at sixteen.

"Yet here I am, doubting our decision, because _I'm_ your father and I should be the one to always take care of you. I just can't now, Quinn's right about that. If I was older, if your Mom was older…we wouldn't dream of giving you up. But you deserve better than what we can give you. It doesn't matter how much I wish I could be the one to keep you, that's just the way it is. I have to do what's best for you, and not what's best for me. So we're finding someone who can give you everything you should have.

"I'm sorry I'm not going to be there to wipe away your tears when you cry. I'm sorry I'm not going to be there to pick you up when you fall down. I'm sorry I'm not going to be there to kill the guys that break your heart. I'm sorry, Beth, and even though you probably can't understand me I want to tell you that I'm doing this _for _you and I will _always_ love you."

After he finishes his up his speech, he presses a butterfly light kiss to her forehead before giving her back to the nurse. When he leaves the room, he doesn't turn back because if he does he'll never be able to leave again.

He tells himself it's for the best and says a final goodbye to Beth for his own benefit.

-4-

Summer hits Lima and there is a Beth sized hole in Puck's heart. It doesn't matter how many times he tells himself he did the right thing—_they _did the right thing—he still feels like a piece of him has been ripped away. The thing that sucks about it is that for awhile he hoped putting her up for adoption would mean she would go to a family a little further away—he hates using the phrase 'out of sight, out of mind' when referring to her, but that's essentially what he hoped for. He hoped she would go to a good family that lived far away so he wouldn't be reminded of her anymore than necessary. He had hoped that it would hurt less that way—even though he has known a long time that it was going to kill him either way.

But now that she's been adopted by Shelby, every time he sees Rachel all he can think about is whether the woman is treating Beth better than she treated Rachel. When he finds out Shelby is officially adopting Beth, he is completely weirded out that his daughter is going to have some strange connection to Berry. He finds it even weirder that Shelby is Rachel's biological mother but she's not able to be a real _Mom_, and while she's not Beth's biological mother, she wants to be a Mom to her. But he also thinks it might be a good thing that all this is happening this way. Rachel can't create a real bond with Shelby the way she wanted to once upon a time, but she still stays in contact with the woman. Puck figures Rachel would be the link to finding a way to be a part of his daughter's life.

He tries to explain this plan to Quinn and she calls him an idiot. She says that when they gave up Beth, they relinquished their claim on her. She says it was hard enough the first time, she isn't going to put himself through it a second time. She says Beth will never know them as her parents and that's the reality he needs to accept. She says everything is starting to get back to normal, she won't let him ruin that.

"And you need to stop calling her _our_ daughter," Quinn concludes. "She isn't _ours_ anymore."

He knows he should feel the same way that Quinn does, but he just doesn't—he hasn't since the beginning. In his heart he knows Beth will always belong to him even when she belongs to someone else. So, he casually asks Rachel one day—when the ache in his heart becomes unbearable—if she has heard anything from Shelby about Beth. Rachel smiles that almost condescending, knowing smile and shows him the pictures Shelby has sent her.

Shelby seems to take new pictures of Beth every day. She sends a bunch to Rachel every now and then, and Puck and Rachel have a kind of unspoken agreement that she'll forward them to him. He tries to show them to Quinn once, but she flips out on him. She doesn't speak to him for three days and he doesn't bring up the pictures in front of her again.

He assumes that Rachel got tired of being a go between, because after awhile the pictures start coming straight from Shelby. They don't say much about the change except a quick note on Shelby's first email— 'Rachel said you might like to see these'—and Puck's simple 'thanks' in return. He wishes it could be more than a few pictures, but he knows he gave up the right to ask for anymore than that. The fact that he's getting that much is more than he ever could have imagined.

It's not the same as being there, but he keeps up with nearly every moment in those pictures. And if Shelby ever decides to tell Beth about where she came from, he wants her to know that he cared enough to keep tabs on her. But this is more for him than for her, because he loves her so much that if this is the closest he's going to get to seeing her then that's _almost_ good enough for him—it's enough to help him survive the emptiness he feels without her.

-5-

Puck and Quinn date off and on through the rest of high school. They bring out the best _and _worst in each other and they struggle to find the right balance. In high school, they keep coming back to each other because they have shared an experience no one else can quite understand. When they leave for college together—no one is more surprised than Puck that he got accepted to a college outside of Lima, really any college at all—things change. They fall apart and come back together, only to fall apart again. But the things that once held them together are now the things tearing them apart. Beth used to be common ground for them, but now their differences on the subject of their daughter push them farther from each other. He still thinks of Beth every day, and Quinn purposefully _doesn't_ think about her. He still gets pictures from Shelby once and awhile, and Quinn hasn't looked at a single one. He still keeps Beth as a part of his life and Quinn feels she would be better off if she could convince herself that Beth doesn't exist anymore. He still loves Quinn, but he's almost certain she never really loved him. It eats him up inside because he starts to resent Quinn—not so much because she can put Beth out of her thoughts, but because he can't.

When they break up the final time, he tells her he loves her, probably always will, and breaks up with her in the same breath. She fights him, and for a moment he doubts his decision. She tells him that if he loved her, he wouldn't break up with her, he wouldn't leave her. He knows that she is making perfect sense—you don't break up with the person you love, you don't leave the person you want to be with—but after what they've been through that logic doesn't add up.

"The only other person I've loved as much as I love you Quinn, is Beth," Puck says, "And I had to leave her…because that was the best thing for everyone."

Quinn recoils when he mentions Beth and he is reassured that he's doing the right thing. He thought what they had been through would have helped them stay together, but it is _because _of what they've been through that they can't.

In the end, they both move on. Puck graduates from college and in one fell swoop proves that he is not a Lima Loser, and that he could make it out of Lima. But he finds that after college, he misses his home more than he thought he would. For some reason, he can't find it in himself to think of any other place as home. And there's probably only one reason why Lima will always hold his heart. So he goes home post graduation, gets a job and prepares himself to settle into the real world—which is kind of redundant because he made his first visit to the real world at sixteen and he's not sure he ever left again.

The real world gets kind of lonely. The only people he sees are the people he works with and occasionally his mom and sister. All the people he was friends with in college are out of state. He didn't keep up with many people from high school except for Quinn, and he hasn't talked to her since they broke up. He doesn't date, hasn't found anyone worth risking his heart on. He starts to think about what it would be like to get married and start a family, but that only makes him think about the family he missed out on.

Then he gets an invitation to Finn and Rachel's wedding. He feels bad that he didn't even know they were still together. While he and Finn didn't stay all that close after sophomore year of high school, he feels weird that he's had more contact with Shelby the last few years than with Rachel. He relieves the twinge of quilt by RSVPing and booking a plane ticket to New York. He thinks it will be good to see a friendly face from his past, even if he's doing it more for himself than anyone else.

The ceremony is long and traditional and he spends most of it wondering if he'll ever get here. He sits in the back next to most of the other Glee Clubbers from their day. He shares a few smiles with his old friends and promises to catch up with them at the reception. It's at the reception that the party picks up. Puck is seated with the rest of the Glee club. He sits between Matt and Mike, and as the group drinks down a couple rounds, the tone turns reminiscent. They talk of Glee Club and the National Title they eventually claimed. Mr. Schue is in attendance, with Emma on his arm and a couple of kids in tow. He gets called over to the table to join in their trip down memory lane. Puck smiles at how happy Schuester looks. He thinks if Schue's dream of a family can come true, then so can his. But then the conversation takes a turn and he is once again reminded of what he missed out on.

"So, Puck, do you have any idea why Quinnie decided not to join in this joyous occasion?" Kurt asks, tilting his head to the side so Puck can see him around the centerpiece.

Puck shakes his head, "I wasn't sure if she would be her or not. Honestly, I haven't talked to her since college."

"I heard she got married," Kurt says. "Anyone know if that's true?"

Santana nodded, "It's true. Last time I caught up with her, she said she and her husband were _trying_."

"Trying what?" Brittany frowns. "Sometimes I try doing math, but then I remember it's hard."

"Trying to get _pregnant_," Santana corrects, affectionately patting Brittany's shoulder.

"Oh," Brittany draws out, "that kind of trying."

Puck feels his stomach sink as he listens to the conversation. The topic of marriage and family continues, and he almost wants to tune it out. It's hard to hear when he's sure he's the only one out of all of them that wants a family most and he feels the farthest from it.

"Anyone seen the happy couple?" Mercedes asks, looking around the room as she says it.

Rachel and Finn had stopped by the Glee table shortly after the first dance, but since then have been mingling with other guests around the large banquet room.

"They have a lot of guests to greet," Tina shrugs. She turns to Artie, who has his wheelchair parked next to her. "We are _not _having this many people at out wedding."

Artie waves his hands in surrender, "You're the one telling half your family they can't come."

"You've been quiet, Puck," Santana comments. "How about you? You seeing anyone special?"

Puck scrambles to formulate a generic smart assed comment about loving the single life and scoring random chicks, but he realizes that isn't him anymore and he shouldn't try to pretend. Then he has no idea what to say and he has to stop himself from stuttering out an incoherent response. He is saved from actually answering by Rachel and Finn approaching the table. Rachel comes to stand behind Puck's chair and smiles at everyone. Finn takes up his place beside his wife.

"Hey everyone, enjoying the party?" Rachel says. There is a round of nodding and a chorus of affirmative answers. "So, there is someone I want you all to meet. You remember Shelby and this beautiful girl is Beth."

A small gasp goes around the table and Puck slowly turns around. His chest is tight and he has stopped breathing. When he is turned all the way around, Rachel and Finn step out of the way to reveal the pair of people who had followed them over. Shelby stands with her hand latched to a young girl. Puck thinks he might cry as he stares down at his daughter in the flesh for the first time since the day she was born. She still looks like Quinn, but she looks more like him than he imagined she would. He hasn't seen a picture of her in awhile, and she seems to have grown so much older between then and now.

Puck swallows down the lump in his throat and says, "It's nice to meet you Beth."

Beth smiles shyly and inches to stand behind Shelby.

"Beth, honey, don't be shy," Shelby shakes her head, with a small chuckle. "You're too old to be scared of new people."

"Hi," Beth finally says, waving at everyone at the table.

Puck can't help but stare. After the short phrase he managed to choke out, he lost his voice. He had thought for a long time that he would never see his daughter again except in the pictures that came too few and far between the last few years. Now that she is there in front of him, he is too shocked to do anything. Everyone at the table showers Beth with compliments and she blushes a deeper pink at each one. And he just stares.

"You want to go dance with us Beth?" Rachel asks after a few moments at the table. Beth nods and Rachel takes her hand to lead her to the dance floor. Finn and the rest of the Glee club follow behind the two.

Mercedes pauses next to Puck's chair, "Are you coming with us?"

"I think I'll watch from here," Puck responds. Truthfully, even if he wanted to, he doesn't think he could move.

Mercedes gives him a soft squeeze on the shoulder before moving toward the dance floor to complete the circle dancing around Beth. Puck is so fascinated by watching Beth twirl and spin around, with a bright smile on her face, that he barely notices when the chair beside him is pulled out. He glances to the side of him to find Shelby taking a seat in the chair, before he turns back to watch Beth again.

"So Rachel tells me you're living in Lima again," Shelby says.

"Yeah, I thought I wanted to get out of Lima, but really I just wanted to prove I could make something of myself," Puck answers. He drags his eyes away from his daughter to look Shelby in the eyes when he says, "I don't know if I ever really told you how much it meant to me that you've sent me pictures all these years. I mean, ten years is a long time to keep me in mind, especially when you didn't have to. I just…having that glimpse into her life made me feel like I wasn't a complete jackass for giving her up like I didn't want her. I appreciate it more than I could ever describe."

"I know you do," Shelby says. "Giving up a child is the hardest thing a person could ever do. In hindsight, I would have been overjoyed to have been able to see Rachel grow up, but it wasn't meant to be with us. That's why I want to give Beth everything she could ever want, and why I knew it was right to let you know that she was happy."

"She looks happy," Puck murmurs.

"Rachel told me you would be here. I hope it's not too hard for you to see Beth," Shelby says, "Rachel told Quinn that Beth and I would be here. Quinn decided not to come."

Understanding floods Puck. "You're not worried that I'm going to say something to Beth, are you? I would never. I made my choice, and I've come to live with it."

"That's good to hear," Shelby nods, "because Beth knows she's adopted, but she knows nothing about the circumstances. I've told her if she ever wants to know, I'll tell her. She's chosen so far to not know. And I want it to stay that way until she changes her mind."

"I won't say a word," Puck promises. "It's enough to see her. I thought I never would again."

"Would you like to see her again?" Shelby asks.

Puck frowns, "What are you suggesting?"

"A job," Shelby explains. "She loves to sing, loves music. Such things seem to be genetic. As does her urge to learn guitar, apparently. I've been giving her piano lessons for awhile, and she's brilliant. But she doesn't have a passion for it. She's been begging me to get her guitar lessons. Tonight Rachel suggested I ask you to give her some."

"Wow, that's…" Puck trails off.

"Do you think we can make an arrangement?" Shelby asks.

Puck makes a quick decision, "Yes, I think we can."

When Puck returns to Lima, he has something to look forward to, which makes it easier to stop looking to the past. Shelby and he make an arrangement to start out slow in both the lessons and in the relationship between him and Beth. If Beth takes to the instrument and warms up to him, then they can make a more permanent arrangement on both fronts. He starts out meeting with them after he gets off work once or twice a week. He teaches her the parts of the guitar, the basic cords, and a couple short songs to practice. She's a natural, picking up everything he throws at her quickly and perfectly. Shelby agrees to let them extend their lessons by a half hour, and soon has to amend the arrangement to include extra lessons now and then.

Puck thought it might be difficult to be around Beth when he couldn't really _be_ there with her, but the only thing he has to watch out for are the moments he gets caught up staring at her while he tries to memorize her. Each time he sees her, she seems different. She looks older, her hair is longer, she's wearing more pink, or she's more talkative. He wants to remember each moment with her because he doesn't know when the next will be his last. Because not they've been working together for a long time, and soon enough, there won't be anything left for him to teach her. Yet he doesn't want to miss out on the hug she gives him each time they meet for a lesson, or the way she smiles when she gets what she's working on just right, or how after weeks of her calling him Mr. Puckerman, he has to tell her to call him Puck—even though the only people who call him Puck anymore are people he knows from his past, because he's an adult he goes by Noah—or the times when he arrives early and catches her singing along with her guitar—she loves a lot of his favorite songs and he loves to hear her voice on the old lyrics. It's almost too much for him to give up, but he knows one day he'll have to, because he loves her but he isn't her family.

During one lesson, Beth brings up her upcoming birthday. She talks to him like an adult and he is instantly reminded of Quinn. "My Mom still thinks I'm a baby and she doesn't have any idea about what's cool. So before she decides to get a clown as entertainment, I was wondering if you would do me a favor and play a few songs at my party."

"Have you talked to your Mom about this?" Puck hesitates.

"No," Beth shakes her head, "but I want you to, and my Mom likes me to be happy."

"If it'll make you happy, then I would love to," Puck says, "but clear it with your Mom first."

Beth smiles brightly, "Thank you! Thank you!"

"Now let's get back to work, okay?"

Shelby catches up with Puck after the lesson as he is packing up his guitar and some of the sheet music they had used that day. "Beth tells me she wants you to play at her party and that you said yes."

"I told her she had to ask you," Puck responds. "I didn't want to tell her no, but I don't know if it's a good idea."

"I think it's a great idea," Shelby sits down in the chair Beth had sat in earlier.

"You do?" Puck asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes I do," Shelby nods, "You're special to Beth, it would mean a lot to her if you did it. She thinks you're 'totally awesome' or whatever it is kids say these days. Besides I can't deny her anything anymore than you can."

"It wouldn't be weird for me to be at her birthday? Given the circumstances, just letting me be around to give her lessons is a lot," Puck says, "You're really okay with this?"

"She wants you to be there, that's all that matters," Shelby shrugs. "The party is next Saturday. Be here by noon."

The day of the party, Puck arrives on time and is ushered by Shelby out to the backyard. There is a small, makeshift stage, with a stool set up for him. When Beth sees him she smiles and has all her friends waiting in anticipation within minutes. He pulls out his guitar and thinks about the songs he chose for a moment. He chose a lot from his Glee club days, a few he knows Beth loves, and one song that is very special to him—and her even though she doesn't know it. He chooses to open with that one.

Puck situates himself on the stool with his guitar and looks down on his waiting audience. He looks at Beth's smiling face the whole time he says, "This first song, I sang once in high school. It meant a lot to me. Coincidentally, it was about a girl named Beth, just like you. I hope you like it."

And what he really means is left unspoken. _Daddy loves you_.


End file.
